My heart broke

9/6/10

Today (Friday Sept 3, 2010)  I watched as my heart broke. A sweet baby girl, who smiled, loved to snuggle on your chest, and loved to play, was buried. She was only 4 months old, and didn’t get the full life that we all expect. I was the last person to leave.  And unfortunately, I saw as they placed her into the ground. Something you should never have to see or want to. Somewhere a child should never be placed.

The mother told Athenah Rea to stay away from those who got sick. And that we should enjoy ever minute with her because you never know if she will be here that long. She also apologized to Athenah Rea because her playmate wouldn’t be able to keep the play dates they had planned (Ashtyn’s mom & Athenah’s mom). It was hard to watch her tell a soon to be 3 week old all of this, tears in our eyes.
Taking my grand daughter was the worst thing I could have done. I felt so stupid when I realized that bring her would cause more grief. Plus it’s hard on that family because Athenah Rea is here, and their, Ashtyn Christe,  is not. Yes it sounds a bit selfish but they don’t hate her, its just hard to see another baby. So Uncle David & Aunt Emily saw her for short time, they will prob see her later this week … If their hearts can take it.

I despise the fact that parents had to bury their child. It is so hard to hear about, but to see it … it tears your heart out.

That was my view that day. But today I still cannot believe that beautiful baby girl is gone. She use to come over there &  smile all the time. She loved swinging and tummy time. She loved snuggling, and being talked to.
The last time I was able to see Ashtyn was when Athenah was in the hospital. I was so busy since Kim & Athenah Rea got out. You always think you have all the time in the world … and then you find out you don’t. It is devastating.
When I saw Emily & David this past weekend, I was honest. I told them I 1/2 expected to see Ashtyn when I walk in the door. My heart broke even more, because it is understanding she is gone.
But when I think of Ashtyn I don’t think of the negative, she was always smiling and giggling. When she was upset you knew it, but she calmed really quick. She loved swing, and being held. But most of all is how she touched all of our lives, in so many different ways. So instead of the negative, I think of the positive and know she made a positive effect on all our lives.