Trip to KS … 1st part

The first week in KS resulted in all of us with the stomach flu & recovering from it. Nothing worse than trying to care for 2 kids, and not vomit along side them. My heart went out to both of them, because they were so exhausted & worn out.
My parents packed for the trip to see Yanni and Jayden, as well as Cate & Eric. It was a horrid start for a trip, 1st day the flight was CANCELLED. Mom was all prepared to leave, and was so upset when they cancelled the flight after they had been sitting there for a few hours. Dad was simply disappointed in the fact they could have let the passengers know the flight was going to be delayed or cancelled … but the positive thing is my SIL is their travel agent & she had it fixed in no time at all.

1st Trip to AirPort VIEW SLIDE SHOW DOWNLOAD ALL

The worst part, is I went to Hobby Lobby to get fabric to make my boys PJ’s. Then we stopped by Subway for Lunch. It was nice until we got back to Hutch & I had to make a trip back to Wichita.   Logan watched Athenah, instead of dragging them back to the airport.
The 2nd trip was successful, such a relief to me. Of course this time I did not leave Wichita until Dad told me that they were boarding. The day before I ended up making two trips to Wichita … not what I wanted to do again.
I stopped by to replace my shoes, which even as comfortable as they were, they were to the point of replacing. Found a pair of comfy boots, got some stocking stuffers for my boys. Then went back to Mom’s & Dad’s. Logan was amazing because he watch Athenah the entire time I was gone. But I am just happy, because it made the trip easier. She likes to go places, but does not like being “trapped” in a car seat or stroller … can you blame her?
The next couple weeks we (Logan, Athenah & me) relaxed, baked, played games & after dark drove around to look at Christmas Lights. Logan about had a cow because most of the lights we found were simply white/clear. He listens to his GrandPa too much on that topic, as well as a few others But I have to agree with him, when you decorate for the holidays you want cheerful. Using only one color, can be a bit depressing. And white/clear lights don’t do so well when it snows. But if you use a variety of colors, it really makes it cheerful and seems more like the holidays. Basically, go from “bland” to “cheerful.” Then again, each person has an idea how they want to decorate. (feel for my sons, because the next holiday season, my home will get decorated as I prefer)
The games were ok, Logan loves to play a large variety. He is good with strategic options.

Games, Lights, Baking VIEW SLIDE SHOW DOWNLOAD ALL

After a while, my husband & sons arrived. Then it was a more baking, games, and getting ready for the holidays. Plus during this time, my husband & I celebrated our 14th anniversary. Out to dinner, which was nice. Then we check out the theater, which we opted out of because there was nothing playing we really wanted to see. Then we picked up some last minutes gifts, for the boys & him.
I was really excited about this holiday because for the 1st time in my life, 39 years, I was suppose see my GrandPa on Christmas, as well as the Lamb’s. Usually it is celebrated with the McAllister’s on Christmas Eve, and Lamb’s on Christmas Day. Lunch was with my GrandPa, which we did enjoy. But sadly we missed “dinner” with the Lamb’s because they let me know on Christmas Eve that it will began at 1pm on Christmas. Which it was pointed out that “From one of the Lambs who never let you know”, as well as “We are happy you are here after all these years” … I was rather insulted. I have been back for the holidays. But sadly I do not come back every year, I do not live in KS. Plus I have a family of my own, which does now include an extended family that lives in NC, GA & FL. Yet, I have traveled to KS several times to be here for the holidays. Yea, I am a bit unhappy over this holiday season … but in the end, I has my husband, sons & granddaughter to celebrate it with. That is the most important part, MY FAMILY was together. Seeing that in the past my husband has missed the holidays because he was deployed. So, regardless of what happened I had an amazing holiday’s because my family was together. My husband was not deployed, and it was our 1st holiday season as a RETIRED military family!!!! There is nothing more important than having the person you love with you, and now there is no more worries of him having to deploy over the holidays. For me, that made this the BEST holiday, ever.
So accepting all the negative & positive of the holidays, is just something I will just learn to handle. But will always know the holiday season of 2011 was the best. Plus it will start off the rest of our lives, outside of the military.

Enjoying the Holidays VIEW SLIDE SHOW DOWNLOAD ALL

After the holidays, hubby & sons went home. Logan & I took Athenah to the Zoo, as well Carey Park to play and feed the ducks. Logan has been working hard on school work, so he can play League of Legends.  Which it has been suggested that I learn to play by Logan & Mike … LOL so not gonna happen. But it was a cute request . He is working hard because he has to take a test so he can start high school next year. Which I have discussed it with him several times, and although I am not found of public schools, I think that he will learn a bit more than we can teach him, or K12 can teach him.

Fun times for All … VIEW SLIDE SHOW DOWNLOAD ALL

But I really have to say that I am so thrilled that my parents are truly enjoying their trip out to see Yanni & Jayden (Cate & Eric, too). They really needed the break from stress, and the day to day life here. They are getting to make precious memories with their grandsons, daughter-in-law, sons, and the extended family they have over there!! Going to horse races, parks, malls, salons, family dinners … and so much more. (Hopefully soon they will come visit us here in the states.)
Now off to spend time with my son & granddaughter

Home Sweet Home

original post date: 12/28/10

Mom always told us “it’s where the Army sends us.” Which happened to be Ft Bragg NC, for most of my live. Since then home has been in several places, but to be honest right now home is here we are retiring, Oklahoma. Where the army eventually sent us.

I went to visit my parents & house-sit while they were gone. Using that as my mini-vacation. I lived in Nickerson for 3 or 4 years, yet it doesn’t even feel like home (or ever has). I have pictures of it, even went by where we lived during that time. Yet it doesn’t have a feel to it at all.  There is really no way to explain it, but when you go by a place you have been & there is a connection to it.
Now this was back in Oct, and I loved the time I spent in Hutch. I watched Hutch High’s Homecoming Parade, down Main St (yes, it’s called Main St). I walked though the car show, and was simply amazed over the vehicles. I loved walking though Carey Park, drove though South Hutch, walking though parts of Nickerson … it was interesting to see many places again. Some I knew, other’s I should have known plus all the changes they had. I mean, Nickerson has a police office! Then there are all the changes to the high school, although I don’t see why they were done.
Now our latest vacation (the family) was to GA. Were we spent the holidays with family. Although there were some hitches, there is nothing like walking into a house and feeling like it’s a home. We stayed at Wade’s home (Stacey’s brother). Which was a bit crowded when you figure it was perfect for the couple who lived there … add us 6, and it was bunched but we did not feel unwelcomed. Going over to Teresa’s home (Stacey’s cousin) was amazing. A huge Christmas tree, with gifts up under it, with cards & pictures all over.The kitchen was small but great place to sit and talk over anything. Going over to Rebel’s home (yes, another brother), was so shocking! It was a beautiful home, seems his wife has done some work on the home (serious artist here & I love her creations) & Rebel (all of which is great). Meeting up with part of the family there was amazing, and hasn’t been done in so long. The family was definitely family! They had their issues but they found a way to work around them, which was great for the holiday season.

But the day we arrived back home, it was simply amazing. Our home, there is no other way to state it. I loved visiting Hutch & seeing the sites in that area. I loved going back to GA to visit everyone. But “home sweet home” was exactly where we left it … and how we left it. It did not get a whole in the roof from tree branches, it did not burn down … it was just sitting here waiting for it’s occupants to return. Our pictures on the wall. The photo album with our memories. The little mess here or there from the rush getting out the door.
Yes it is great seeing family, or visiting past places but nothing is like walking though the door of your home. The place that you created & reflects you. The place where you simply are.

This time the army sent us in the right direction … straight home.

  
I loved the low fog in KS

   
                              Granny & Elf Athenah                        Grandpa Vern, Grandmother & Athenah Rea

 

Madison, Granny & Athenah, Miranda, Ivo, with back of Teresa’s head

 

      
                Rebel, Carolyn & Stacey            My boys & their Cousin Kathryn       

 

Ivo, Teresa, Stacey, Tricia, Wade & Athenah Rea

My Favorite Area:

 

Home & family … always the best to have.

Family

original post date: 10/3/10

Exactly what is define as “family”? They are “family” because they are related by blood? Or are they family because no matter what they are always there, and you are there for them?

I would have to say that “family” would  be the 2nd question. When are you there for someone, and they are there for you, well that makes you family. Because you are showing that you truly do care for each other.

“Family” by blood can be harsh. You try & try, yet they don’t get off their butts to try. When you see them they act as if they don’t even want to waste their time talking to you. How sad is that?

Today I drove a bit more to see some “family” because it was just “too much for them to come out here.” I saw one of my “aunts” and she was so stand-offish. I tried talking to her, but it was like I was interfering with her time. Lovely, isn’t it? I keep telling myself that it’s different for me because I did not grow up around them. We were here for only a few years, and then we left again. (Can you blame me? Take a look at Nickerson & you will see why.)
Now my parents have been back here for over 10 years, yet  my mother is still treated “out of site, out of mind”.  I am use to it, I have tried talking to my “cousins”, “aunts”& “uncles” when I come back … LMAO that is simply a joke. I refuse to spend Christmas with them, because of the actions they demonstrated when I came back when my husband was in Iraq. My dad was the one who made sure that I kept my temper in check, he reminded me that this was special for my mother. Yes, my mom was the only reason I didn’t tell my “aunts” to take their opinions and shove them. I wanted to tell them that the horrid statements they were making judgment and wrong. Yet my mom was happy, and enjoy that Christmas … I did not & would not make that day turn bad for her.
My mother, who has always been there. Even when she isn’t physical there. My dad was always there, even when he wasn’t physical there. My parents taught us that even if you aren’t there, that you can still be a part of that persons life. But it takes two individuals to make that work. If you fail to get off your butt then you cannot expect the other party to be there too.

When I look at this, I see reasons why I don’t like letting people close. I see why I can turn away, for what ever reason there may or may not be. Because I don’t want to let people in my life who might be similar to my blood relatives. How sad is that?
I don’t remember much from when I lived in Nickerson, or the times we came to visit. I had to see pictures to know who some "relatives” were. I had to teach myself who they were, and how they were connected. Talk about a complete waste of my time, I could have been studying harder, or learning to over come the effects of my stroke. I wasted my time over people who simply don’t know what “family” truly is. (sigh … )

I came up to Hutch for a short break. I haven’t had a vacation by myself (well sort of) in a long time. I was hoping to see “family”, and get to know them again. But I can see that won’t be happening.
Oh well, there are things I can do besides that. Plus I have brought my school work with me, so that will keep me busy. Hutch may not be the great town to be in, but it has things to see & do. So I can walk around with my granddaughter, taking pictures and enjoy what this town has to offer.

Yes, when I began this I was angry, disappointed, disgusted, and simply in disbelief. I still am, but sometimes putting it in words really helps. Makes you see things, and work things out; helps resolve those emotions. Although they remain, you understand why you are feeling that mixture.
My decision will be to walk away when those who are blood related cannot make the effort to work on having any kind of relationship. Oh well, sucks for them … cause I am not a bad person to know! (hmph ..)

Amazing Little Surprises

original post date: 8/17/2010
They always come in small sizes, that is for sure. Aug 15, by 0352 (AM ~ for you non military) Athenah Rea McAllister was born. She decide NOT to wait to see Dr Carson on the 16th. Her 1st visit to OUR HOME, LOL yep she was born at home. In our main bathroom, to be honest.
My daughter, Kim, told us her water broke about 0312 and by 0341 Athenah was out & crying. (Hey can you blame her? Wet, bloody & probably blasted cold.)  Fire Fighters & Paramedics arrived well after her birth, stated that when the umbilical cord was cut was time of birth ….. go figure, but it’s not quite accurate.
My husband says it was the most amazing thing. To me, it scared the hades out of me. I saw the crowning, pulled my daughter on to floor and told her not to push ~ yea, obviously Athenah Rea has an issue with that, because she was out shortly there after! :-)
Her head came out, and I checked to make sure she wasn’t wrapping the cord around her neck. My husband called 911 to get them there, & my Mom stayed on the phone with them. Then he got something to wrap Athenah Rea in. Then we had Kim push, and that sweet little girl slide out into my arms. Yes, it sounds amazing but until your are in that position, you can never understand the fear that comes with it.
Her birth was amazing, my husband has that right. She didn’t slide or fall on the the floor. Once she was out, we wrapped her in her uncle’s thick comforter (LOL that Granny Mac just cleaned!). Her Pa sat, talked to hear & kept telling her it’s alright.
I left to see what the lady on the phone wanted, all the extra’s that we need to do to make sure Kim & Athenah Rea were taken care of. After talking to the lady, I went back to try to clean Athenah off … let’s just say that got her to yelling a bit more & she turned so pink!
 
Today, we are hoping for her to be released, well both to be released. She has a great bond with her mother, and they are so cute together!

Course she has 2 rather large uncles, and one that is headed that way. She has a grand pa (Pa) who she is rather attached to already.
Today we hope to take them home, before 1200 (noon) our time. It will be good to get them settled at home before running off to see the docs again. Granny Mac and the uncles here will help Momma with Athenah Rea while Pa & Mema (yep that’s me!) deal with the docs, legal, DEERS, and what ever else might head this way. WE are interfering today ONLY because Momma & Athenah need to rest a bit with out all the hassles. (ONLY direct family should be calling … PLEASE. Thanks a ton!!!)
Off to get some breakfast, gotta save this & relax a bit before they release Kim & Athenah Rea to head home.
Hugs to all!!!!

The Changes You Never Expected …

original post date: 7/24/2010

10 years ago I would never have expect our lives to turn in the way they have. 15 yrs ago I won’t have expected it.
5 yrs ago … the events that occurred in the few years just prior showed my family that no matter how hard we tried, things happen and we have to learn to deal with them. Learn to accept them. Oh, we can try to run or hide from them … but that didn’t do any good for the one who tried. It just made adjusting even harder. Which made it a bit harder for our family as well.
You see in a family when something happens to one person it does effect the others who love & care for them. It effects the immediate family, as well as the extended family. What one person does can keep a family together or help destroy it. It takes so much love, consideration, understanding, compassion … and flat out patience when you are dealing with a person in your family who would rather run from the problems than face them. Because you have to try to be there for them, but also for the individuals they are hurting by these actions.  And when that person tries to come back, you have to be there for those who want to accept them, but still have that anger in them. You have to be there for the person who wants their family back, but occasionally does the “1 step forward, and 2 steps back.”
But you see dealing with the person who is afraid to get hurt isn’t the only change we have had to adjust to in our lives over the last 5 or so years. We have lost family (that pain is still there), we have gained family (precious and so welcomed), we are expecting two precious additions to our family (immediate & extended) … Loss & gained. That is pretty much what it all comes down to. Yes we have gained quite a  bit, but we have lost is still there and it still hurts those who don’t know how to deal with it. Or those who just don’t understand …

In the matter of a few days or maybe a few weeks, we will be accepting into our home the our grand daughter. Who has actually help heal some relationship tensions between sibling, and extended family. Yes, my heart goes down a bit when I consider the fact that my daughter is 17 and going to give birth before she hits 18 or even 25 (good time to start THINKING about kids). But my heart jumps when I know I will be able to sit on my living room floor and play with Athenah Rea. This may not be possible when my children bring over other grand children (way off in the future).
That brings us from gain to loss. To be honest, it appears to be the root of all the issues that occur in our house. It does show the love that each person has, but it’s the fear that is tearing them apart instead of bringing them closer. The fear of loosing someone they think they have to have here no matter what. The fear of not know if they will have a few days or a few years. The fear of being hurt because of that loss.
The problem comes down to how to get them all to find a way to cope with it. When you have tried everything  you can, it comes down to involving others who might be able to help you, while you help them. Letting them know that you love them more than they could imagine, and that you are doing what you have to, just so you can be there for them. (Something that they might not realize or understand.) Sometimes it just simply helps when you bring in someone with a fresh mind, a person who can get an outside look at each person and find a way to help them.

In 10 years or 15 years I never expected that my family would fallow a path that would lead us to where we are now. But because life loves to through in those lovely, interesting, little surprises. And the choices we make each time those events happen in our lives, effect how we will be in a few years down the road.
To be honest, life has given us so damn interesting occurrences, events or what ever  you want to call them … I am thinking it needs to go spice up someone else life for a while.