A simple smile

Today I put my grand daughter on the floor to play, and turned on the recording of the “wiggles.” After watching a few, I turned the TV to the sprout channel. It was cute, so I looked up the web site, let’s just say if you are looking or it don’t just type “sprout” it’s Sprout Online.
Usually I complain a bit my daughter not taking care of her, and I sat to consider that during this time. Yesterday I started a “bitch” blog about my daughter & her boy-toys, but deleted it.  Because to be honest I don’t want to sit and complain about my daughter all the time. There is more to our lives than the drama she brings. I have 3 great sons, an amazing husband, and a beautiful grand daughter. Plus you add in extended family, I have more to discuss than the drama that my daughter brings into our lives. It’s about time I started remember that.
Watching my granddaughter I realized that no matter what her mother does, it’s not her fault. That she will be an amazing person as long as we help her reach that point.

While my granddaughter was playing on the floor, with her toys and listening to Sprout TV, I asked her if she would put on a magic show like Caliliou did for his family. She just looked at me and grinned.
That smile just made my day. I have to stop & remember that even with all the annoying items in our life, there is still tons of positive. It’s simply amazing how a little smile can remind you of that.

I watched my grand daughter for a while, considering all the negative that has been going on. During that short time, I went from stressed out to completely relaxed. She played with her toys, smiling, giggling, turning over & moving on the blanket. Such a simple life, and so easy to life at this age. Something that helps remind us that no matter what is going on in life, it never hurts to sit back and enjoy yourself. Find your blanket, toys or what ever and relax. Because no matter what you do, there will always be negative & positive stress. You just have to remember to relax … or rather I have to remember to relax.

My poor husband

Yesterday my husband spent so long in the ER. They ran test, after test, on him. But they would not release him because his blood pressure was severely low. Plus he has pneumonia, and they could not give him any form of meds unless he was watched. That is when they secured a bed for him, and transferred him to the upper floors.
They did breathing treatments all night & morning with him. I know he didn’t get much sleep, so I won’t take our kids or granddaughter up to see him. I want him to rest, and he cannot do that with us in there. Yes, that seems harsh but I want him to recover & come home soon.

My husband looked at me yesterday and said "How do you feel when the shoes on the other foot?” I just smiled at him. Because until last night he didn’t grasp that idea. Then he wasn’t enjoying have made that point. They have been running test after test on him, blood, CAT, Ultrasounds, urine, sputum … all those tests that make you feel horrid when they appear. Even worse when they let you know those didn’t give any results, which means MORE tests.

I never wanted my husband to have to go though this. He’s always so healthy, and this has to be so hard for him. I know it is, because he keeps asking me how I am doing. Hello, I am not the one in the hospital!!! It’s hard, extremely, because you are stuck with dr’s deciding what to do with you. “no this test was ok, so we are gonna run these now instead” Leaving you with the thought “why didn’t you just do it the 1st time?” Dreading seeing the nurse, tech, or dr. Wanting to just pack up & leave … letting them find someone else to test or diagnose.

“IT’S NOT FAIR”

original post date: 12/28/10

Fair??? There is no freaking FAIR in this world. We try to be decent people, and do the correct thing. Well, that is some of us do.
Yet there is always that one person who expects you to do it all for them. And when you say NO they start begging, and saying “it’s not fair.” I had to stop & really figure out what I should say and how I wanted to say it.

Not Fair … not when you have to watch a person bury their child. Not fair … when you watch soldiers deploy to a country with a high chance of dying. Not fair … when you see a young child living in a car, or on the streets. Not fair … when you watch the news over a child who’s supposed family killed them. Not fair … is simply what you will find when you look around life. Not fair … Not fair … Not fair … is something all of us are tired of hearing.
Yes you can find “fair” when you get off your butts and start making it happen. Learning to understand that religions are differently, not forcing yours on others, and finding a way to accept them. Learning to know that some people should not be allowed to raise children, to understand when they start reaching out for help. Learning to accept when you can do something & not feel worthless because of it. Learning to control rage, and know when to stop … and find someone when you know you need help to prevent it.
There is so much more to create “fair” but does the list have to keep going? After all that is just the simple start of the list. Watch the news, read the paper, listen to the talks of adults … because you will hear so much that is considered “not fair”. But the most amazing part? Is how they many handle it. When it’s done with out harming another, you will see more “fair” than you would ever expect.
Remember: Life is not fair, it is not some freaking fairy tale. There is no “happily ever after” unless each of us makes the steps to find it. You will still have your ups & downs, but it will be the choice you made.

I am rather sick of hearing “not fair” from so many people. Each day my husband & I wake to raising our 3 amazing boys, and our beautiful granddaughter. We wake each day to check on our daughter, who has moved out & on with her life. Each day we wake knowing that the only way we can have that “happy ending” is by enjoying what we have. Yes there are things that we would like, but to be honest, they are things that we may truly not need. We wake each day knowing that life may give us a little twist or a massive one. But each day we work though it. That is how we find out “fair” in life.

Stop looking at the “not’s” in your life, and look at what you have. Because that is the only “fair” you are gonna find. Go build your castle, or our house with a white picket fence, or what ever you want … but do it with a bit more common sense.

What popped into my head today

original post date: 8/26/10

In life you have your wants, needs, & desires. Then you have your own version of what YOU think are  your wants, needs, and desires … and damn it sucks to learn that YOU idea is not always what you need.
I found in life that if you always went for what you though was a need, you found out that it was more of a want or desire. Sure you get some great experiences from the challenge, and you learn to much.
But let’s just stop and think, do you really need all the bs that we try to go for?
Yes a house is needed, and I am loving the one my husband go for us … even with all the work we need to do. It’s our home, a place for us to live and shelters us.
The F150 we had, wasn’t needed … I loved my truck, and at times still miss it. But to be honest, transportation doesn’t need to be like my truck was. We have 2 cars, one going to my son, but like I learned over in Germany, buses & my feet work really well. I can get anywhere I need to by those simple means. Yes, our car is great because it gives me the time to get there when I feel like it, plus seeing I love to drive … I can drive where ever I feel like. (which I have been known to do often & worry people when I don’t tell them!)
Of course there is the normal must haves: food, clothes. LOL but even those can be over done. I mean do you really have to eat out every meal, every day? It’s one thing to eat out ever so often, but really? It’s really not all that health, plus cooking at home is simply fun! And clothes, even I have been known to over do it there. Oh the sad fact is that going over board can just be too much. But it is something that people do …

Hey even I admit when I am guilty of it. After all, I am simply human. Each day, provides some interesting lessons. Sometimes it just takes us a bit to learn from them …

 

But of course the desires, well that is something each person has to figure out for themselves.

Learning from what you have ...

No this is not really home school based idea. More of learning from what you have at home, or what you see.
Here is the perfect way to understand what I am talking about. You have a friend for life, something comfy to rest on ... and you simply kick back, letting life just pass you by. Oh I don't mean do this on a full day to day basis. But sometimes when we become adults we consider "relaxing" a hike in an amazing nature park, getting in our exercise that we want or need, reading the newspaper ... or whatever we normally do. We forget what relaxing means. To sit back, letting our bodies recover from our daily life.

Let me tell you, when you forget to do this, you end up where I did not to long ago. 2 IV's being transferred from my hospital to one that had the extra resources to take care of me. Getting 3 units of blood, hooked to a machine & stuck in intensive care.
Yep, that is what can happen. Or worse, there can always be a worse.

Sometimes learning from our children isn't such a bad idea. Forget the worries of the day, find something comfy to sit or lay on (even a life time friend to be there) and simply RELAX. Because we all need it more than we think we do.