Karla Jo McAllister

Oct 20–Oct 26 ~ Update on Mom/Grandma

Saturday ~ Last week was very hard on Mom/GrandMa, physically & emotionally. She has eaten a bit, but is using the time to rest. She is going to church with her Dad, he is all excited about it ... which makes her happy. It was going to be a surprise, but she felt like she had to give him something positive instead of “bad news” about her. It made them both happy, and that I am grateful for. Also, Cathy & Mike McA stopped by, which was great for Mom. They had her laughing, which is something we have not seen in days. She is always grateful for visiting family & friends, they help her more than they can imagine.
Even though this last week has been tough on Mom, she has been trying to make each day a good day. She has goals that she is trying to make. When she hit’s those goals, she makes another. That is the best thing for her to do right now. This coming week she is kicked into surviving long that the docs gave her. Her quote “I AM A SURVIVOR”

Sunday ~ Today Mom went to church with her dad & sister, Karen. She enjoyed the service & seeing all the people she knew. But sadly, she was unable able to sit though the entire service. She was a little upset that they had to leave so soon. She received many well wishes and offers of prayer from the congregation. She sang, cried, and was simply grateful to be there with her dad ... it meant a lot to both of them.
But sadly, it seems that the rest of today she will be down. The trip & service where pushing just a little. She is still able to get up & move around, but mainly is resting because tomorrow is Chemo treatment.
Oh in case you didn’t notice, I am writing these day by day, instead of trying to remember everything at the end of the week.

Monday ~ Chemo did not go as planned. It would appear that the current treatments (2 different types of chemo) were no longer working. The cancer adapted to them. There is one more type of chemo they will start up next week. Mom will go in for 2-4 hours, for lab work & various other items (nausea meds, potassium, etc.). Then they will attach a pump to her for approximately 2 days. She will not have to sit through 8 hrs. of chemo each Monday. Right now, we are unsure if this is a weekly treatment or ever other week. I will let you know in the following update.
Mom was grateful for not having to go through chemo today. It was like she knew it wasn’t working the way they wanted it to. Plus it was completely wiping her out. She is up and moving today, which compared to this weekend, is simply amazing. She still has her sense of humor, because she found a way to joke & laugh when being teased. (Which do happen but with all the extra stress ... it’s not too often lately)
But keep in mind that there is no expiration date on her feet or any where on her body. She will do her best to keep fighting this ... but keep in mind, that eventually she will be worn out by the constant fighting. We all must be prepared for that day; whether we like it/don’t like it, or accepting it/not accepting it. Mom wants us all to stick together & remember her in the positives ways she tried to remember others.

Tuesday ~ This day was a day of resting. No appointments, no driving all over the place ... just a beautiful day to sit outside and enjoy it. Mom just loved it, because she didn’t have to wear a jacket or coat. The breeze was one of those “just right” types. Not too cold or hot. Simply a beautiful day.
Karie O stopped to see her big sis, and she brought a lovely floral plant ... it is beautiful. Plus she gave Mom a figurine with a scarecrow that has “Autumn” on it. Mom really enjoyed see her sis, they talked for what seemed like hours ... I think it was good for both of them. (Thanks Karie for coming by)
Later that night, Mom read the info on her pending Chemo. She talked to Dad & I about it, told us it’s there when we want to read it. Plus she told us how she felt after reading it. I think it did her some good to have some idea as to what they are giving her. She will be Folfox, you can look it up online to get more info ... otherwise this email would be pages long

Wednesday ~ Not much happened today. It was more of a resting day. Mom is trying very hard to prep herself for the Folfox treatment. Which means drinking ROOM TEMP beverages, bundling up .... down that line of thinking. She is just trying really hard to get read for this treatment pending on Monday. But she is so grateful that Dad, Karyl W & I will all be there, this way all of us know about the pump. She is gonna talk to her other siblings to see if they would go to the following apt so they can learn about the pump, which will relieve her mind (LOL and give Dad & I a break ). I think it would be good for those who are local to go with her, they have been simply amazing ... and this way, they can ask the nurses & doc questions they may have. It has been so hard on everyone.

Thursday ~ Learning to bundle up isn’t not something Mom likes to do. Todays weather showed that .... but I will say she is trying!! Mom is still emotional about the passing of her brother. It is really hard on her siblings & herself, and it makes her want to fight even harder. Yesterday, I was a bit worried because it’s been a week since she found out, but she is slowly going though the “grieving process” ... it has been a hard week for all the siblings & her dad. I am just grateful it has pulled them closer together.

Friday ~ Started off bad, but Mom decided it would be a good day no matter what. Her sister, Karen L, stopped by ... she really enjoyed that time. Yea, I think they talked for hours, even though it wasn’t actually that long . It was ups & downs all day, but Mom worked really hard on keep her head up & enjoying the cold weather.
Her eating has gotten a lot better. And she is working to prepare for the new chemo on Monday. She has to learn to bundle up because of possible nerve damage. But with the loss of her brother, she is determined that she will be here for a while ... Go Mom!!!!

Oct 13–Oct 19 ~ Weekly Update

Saturday, ended up being a “stay at home” because Mom got to feeling really “yucky” ... these days are to be expected, but she was NOT happy because she missed Allie’s Volley-Ball game. Something she was really looking for, both Mom & Allie, sadly it turned into one of her bad days. (the kind of day where just want to stay in bed and be taken care of)

Sunday, we got up prepared for going to church with Mom’s dad. Sadly & luckily for Mom, he wasn’t up to going. She was doing a bit better, but last week it would have pushed her too hard. (This week she is gonna go, she is just as excited about it as he is!) But she did get to eat some cake & ice cream to celebrate Dad’s/GrandPa’s 63 Birthday ... hey we had to plan something a little early, or he would have caught on. (Yep, he didn’t suspect any thing)

Monday, Karyl took Mom to chemo, which we are grateful for. She let Dad know all the in’s & out’s that were needed, which was the same as before. (Thanks Karyl ... it was appreciated. More than you know.) Mom slept through most of chemo treatment, which is good for her. But it really messes up her sleeping habits.

Tuesday, Mom didn’t want to go to the hydration appt. But I talked her into it, and we were there for less than 2 hrs.!!! Way to go Mom ... she only needed a little hydration, and nothing else. (they usually give potassium, and occasionally other meds ~ for nausea, etc.) By the time we left that appt, Mom was exhausted. (yep, Tuesday was a bad day) Tuesday night, Mom began running a fever (plus a few other issues) so we took her to Newton’s ER. They ran all kinds of tests on her, but nothing showed up. They believe it was because of the tumors & chemo .... sadly, these are symptoms will happen because of the treatment she is receiving. The doc just wanted to make sure it wasn’t because she caught something else ... that would have meant another hospital stay

Wednesday, was a lot of napping, to catch up from the sleep we all missed for the night/morning ER “visit.” Karen was gonna take Mom to the Farmer’s Market, but since she wasn’t up to it, she brought her some tomatoes ... I wish she would have stayed to talk to Mom. But she wanted Mom to rest. (I have to agree with her, but it’s hard because it does seem to help when Mom has visitors ... but she needs the rest)

Thursday, was recovering from earlier days this week. Wednesday was a hard day for all. Mom went to see her dad ... those two have really bonded lately. (I am so simply grateful for.) They talked for quite some time. Then we stopped by GrandAnn’s grave. Mom had her time to talk to her mother. As well as see the work they have been doing on the marker.

Friday, was a slow day. To rest, & relax. Dad suck it up that he was officially 63!!! (Way to go Dad) PLUS Mom got to talk to Yanni & Jayden (Oh, Eric of course) via computer. She really loves those “calls.” But then she loves all the calls she gets from her GrandChildren (hint hint ).

I think that covers the week. There are some good times/days, as well as bad ones. But for the most part, she is fighting hard. She wants to have more time with each of us ... as a group or one on one. For that alone, I am grateful ... and will support her decision.

Oct 7- Oct 12 ~ Weekly Update

Saturday, Mom went to see Allie’s Volley Ball game. She is going to try to make the next game this Saturday. Finger cross, because Allie really want to see her. Allie told Mom that she was a “good luck” charm. Because the team won when they were there!!!

Monday went decently. Mom is only high up on magnesium. Karyl went with us to meet the doc, so she could explain it to the Lamb side of the family.
Tuesday – Friday, was covered with some bad days or good days. But Mom work through them all, determined to be the survivor she keeps telling people. She collapsed Wed night, but that was more from the morphine ...she was not hurt. She slide down the wall, then after a few, Dad moved her back to bed.
Cathy McA, Karen & Karie have been visiting. Thanks ladies, those visits are really good for her.

Friday, we went out to Grand Ann's grave site to put a Halloween Deco on it. So, now it has one for Easter, Halloween & Fall/Thanksgiving figurines; a few wind chimes; as well has flowers ... the visit did Mom some good. After the trip to Grand Ann, we went to see Mom’s dad. That was a good visit for both of them. There were teary eyes, but I believe they are bonding ... something they both need.

Monday, Karyl’s talking Mom to Chemo. That way she can meet the nurses & be there for Mom. Thanks a ton Karyl, I know it is going to be tough but I am simply glad you all are here for her

It will break your heart

When you are told that you mom has Stage 4 cancer, it definitely will break your heart. But it’s even harder to tell your kids about it … after all, that is their GrandMa.
We have been dealing with this since Aug 2012. It hasn’t gotten any easier. And it won’t.
Now Mom is buying time by taking Chemo. Hoping to give us extra time with her … more for us than for her.
That is what you call a strong woman! A woman to remember & tell about to our kids, grandkids, great-grandkids … an on down the line. Because no matter what, she will be forever in our hearts …

I love you Mom. You are the greatest woman I have ever known!

Oct 1–Oct 6 ~ Weekly update

Monday, was Chemo. She did amazing, rested, ate ... even though it was a long procedure she handled it well. Tuesday, she was hydrated. Then she went to the Dollar Tree for a short time. Found what she was looking for (flowers, wind chime & figurine for GrandAnn’s grave; plus Halloween deco). She came home and rested, after having a hotdog & some fries.
Wed & Thurs, were hard on her. She slept a lot, and her stomach wasn’t agreeing with her those days. She saw her sisters, Karie & Karen, they stayed a while talking ... it was good for her. Then she talked with Eric’s family for some time, she was just so excited. She loved seeing Eric, Cate, Yanni & Jayden ... she talked about it for a while. Even told Dad a lot of the conversation. Those two visits & the Web cam chat were really great for her. There was a slight problem getting some of her meds, but the lady at Dillions worked with them, so she got the right ones. (such a relief for Dad, Mom & me)
Friday, Cathy McA stop by. Those two were like kids in a candy store. So much to talk about, and both left with smiles and a little teary-eyed. But today she is up and moving again. She has eaten, taking her meds ... and seems to be having a great day!

This weekend, Mom is gonna try to get out to GrandAnn’s grave. She was gonna go watch Allie’s volley ball game, but has to follow Dr orders about being around people – she cannot chance getting sick, so she cannot go. She was so disappointed, but has accepted that there will be times she cannot do exactly what she wants to .... She is handle it better than I expected. Dad is more worried about it than both Mom & I, but he has good reasons to be. It’s his wife that he is looking out for ... you have to love him for that.

I will try to keep you all updated, but sometimes I won’t be able to do so that day ... so look for weekly reports, they are much easier.

3 months

My dad called, but he also sent an email. Life is just tearing us a part …

There is no easy way to say this, so I will just lay out the facts as we were told.

They were able to identify the primary source of the cancer as being in her bile duct. It is a very aggressive type of cancer and is in its advanced stages in her liver. As you know it is classified as stage IV liver cancer. This disease carries a very poor survival of less than 3 months. But that is a worse case scenario. Hopefully the chemo will be able to slow the progress of the cancer and give her more time.

Right now the clinic is going thru the paperwork drill with TRICARE to ensure they will pay for everything. Once that is done we will be notified of a date to start her chemo treatments. She will go in for the chemo one day and then back the next day to get IVs to flush her system. This will be repeated the following week and then she will get a weeks break before beginning the cycle all over again.

For now Mom is pretty much in a state of shock and trying to adjust to what she has been told today. Please hold any calls until maybe tomorrow to give her time to compose herself and maybe get some rest. She is sleeping right now, as the news we were given has left her mentally and physically drained.

If any of you want/need to talk to me I will be home the rest of today. I am sorry to have to be the one to tell you this horrible news.

Dad

"Close to You " book link

http://browseinside.harperteen.com/index.aspx?isbn13=9780062081056

I am NOT Satan’s SPAWN

I am ready to pull my freaking hair out. BECAUSE no matter how NICE or POLITE I try to be, I always end up with “You are mad at us, aren’t you?”
I am pleasant. I have NOT yelled or used rude language. I EVEN completely EXPLAIN why I have been in touch. But every time I get that “mad” bull and then have to listen while someone who is UPSET fusses and throws a fit.
Last time I checked, as a PARENT, you should always DOUBLE check what is told to you. That way there is NO misunderstandings. Which in this case, there was a MISUNDERSTANDING.

When my oldest gave me some info, he did not have it exactly correct. So, it was a good thing that I did CHECK to make sure it was correct. Instead of being mature, I ended up dealing with two people who seem to be out to make me look like Satan’s SPAWN or some other freaked out DEMON.
No I am not “mad” over this, I simply disappointed in the immature behavior of adults. It really just saddens me.

I have been sick for over a week. Just got into see my new dr last week. PLUS my granddaughter has been sick, she passed it to me (awww so sweet right?). So, on one of the days I was feeling some what decent, I tried to figure out what was going on. I texted one of the people because I was not feeling up to talking to anyone. I was still coughing & did not have the energy to hold any type of conversation.
Straight up direct question, no bitchiness or demon-waves in the message. Then I get a call from an angry person because I guess for some reason “I was mad.” Now, I had texted & EVEN called the person who thought I was upset. I left the person a voice mail letting her know I was NOT upset, angry, mad … I was just double checking.
I was running a fever. Coming down with chills. I could not keep food in my system. Why on earth would I be “mad” when I simply wanted to DOUBLE check what I was told by my son? (cause there was some miscommunication in what my son told me … and I even double checked it with my son)

So to clear matters up with the world … I am not Satan’s SPAWN, some freaked out DEMON, or out to make ANYONES life miserable. I am simply a MOTHER who has the intelligence to DOUBLE check what is told to her!

What I really hate about medical problems

Over the last few years I went from decently healthy to massive medical problems. I guess I had them before but they were not officially diagnosed. Now, it seems like every time I see my dr. I end up with yet another issue to add .
I have or have had:

• Stroke
• fibromyalgia
• arthritis
• bulging disk in my back & neck
• migraines
• ulcers
• depression
• PFO
• low-iron anemia
• blood pressure issues (too low on a normal basis; too blasted high when I get upset)
• stress (far too much according to my doctors)
• panic attacks
• anxiety issues
• slight allergy to the sun (sunscreen doesn’t even help)
• allergic to morphine (so freaking annoying)
• bone growths on the back of both knees
• bladder issues (yep, it even happens to us younger folks)
• sleeping problems
• nerves problems (like not being able to use arms or legs)
• bruising all over body
• loss of hair (do to meds I am on, as well as medical problems)
• acid reflux

LOL it’s bad when you forget a ton of items that you have been diagnosed with. But honestly, it is really bad to be afraid to see your doctor when you know he is going to give you more issues to learn to deal with.

I have told my doctor that one time I would enjoy seeing any of them as long as they provided me with positive news. He just laughed and said I was always an interesting patient … really??? One who DOES NOT want medical problems. One who is now more afraid of seeing my doctors. One who is scared of what they will tell me next. How does that make me “interesting”???? In my opinion, that makes me a fearful patient, definitely not interesting.
But I guess in there case, they are getting to use all the medical training. Which means I am “interesting” to them. I cannot hate them because they are great doctors, and they are always honest with me when I see them. They do not do  give me that bull where they … what’s the correct word or phrase? … treat me like a person who will simply crash from hearing the news they have to give me. They are direct and straight up with me, which I am grateful for. They do not treat me like a porcelain doll that will just crumb if touch wrong. Trust me I have seen doctors treat patients like the were fragile. Treat them as though they would simply crumble from the news they were given.

My parents taught us that you have to accept what the news. You can get upset over it. You can get sad or depressed over it. But you have to learn about what you have. You have to learn to laugh about it, and accept it. Because in the end, there is not much else you can do … except ignore it.
Ignoring your medical problems do not make them go way. It makes your life harder. I recently learned that. I was honest, told people I had a stoke. I told them, but did not let them know just how much I lost when it occurred. I did not tell them, the closest of my friends or even my family, know the actual severity of it. I was embarrassed, and ashamed because I truly did not remember so much about these people who were close to me. I had some feelings where I knew that some of these people were trustworthy and others I was uncomfortable around. Some of the people in my life, I have since learned why. Others I am still learning more about.

Guess the title of this blog should be something else. But honestly, for me it fits. Because I really do hate my medical problems. They cause me to avoid being close to people like I was before. They prevent me from doing a lot of things. Even chores around the house, you know vacuuming … that can take me over an hour to do. Because I get so exhausted from it. Exercising makes me feel amazing, but will put me in bed for a few days. Which really bites because I end up with so much energy, but my body itself crashes. Playing outside with my granddaughter, I can do a little but then have to rest. Hiking, which is so much fun, but afterwards my body crashes if I “over do it.”
”Over doing” is a phrase I really dislike. Today, I was looking for my router disk to set up my computer with our home router (love wireless … gives me more freedom that sitting at a desk). So I was cleaning up the computer area in our home. I got so tired, and I was not even finished cleaning & organizing. I had to stop. Went out back to talk with my son, stood up and the world started spinning around me … my husband had to help me get back inside because I was afraid I was going to collapse. There was NO WAY I was going to have to get my son to carry me inside. That is just way to embarrassing, for me that is.

See, my family seems to understand & accept that I have the medical problems I have quicker than I do. They are patient, but at times they do get a little irritated. After all, it sucks when you cannot take your child to the gym. Or go bike riding, hiking, fishing, swimming … or half a million other things that are fun to do with family. Sure movie nights are great, or board/card games are fun. But what kid wants to do them all the time? Even I get tired of playing them or watching movies/TV shows all them time. I love going hiking with my family. I enjoying going fishing with them. But even they know that “over doing it” prevents me from doing other things with them. And yes, I can “over do it” playing board/card games.

I guess, in many ways, I am one of the luckiest people on the planet. Simply because of the understanding, compassion, love and support that I received from my family. I really helps me so much that they do understand, even with they get irritated. Because without them, my life would be so much harder.
So while I truly hate my medical problems, I have the greatest family when it comes down to dealing with all the issues that seem to find their way to me.

I am learning to accept all my medical problems, and I will laugh at them. After all, if you do not find a way to laugh … you will live in misery. I prefer happiness, love, enjoyment. Misery can go find someone else. I just wish some people understood the concept of why you should laugh … it makes accepting so much easier.